Finding the right words to describe what it means to be a father

I’ve always struggled to find the right words for what I’m about to describe. Maybe it’s because it feels too vulnerable, or maybe I haven’t fully unpacked the emotions. But as another school year comes to a close, with all the celebration, the final curtain calls, and the proud goals scored in overtime, I feel a tension deep in my chest. And I think it’s time I try to name it.

As a school principal, I carry the weight and honor of watching hundreds of students grow. I see them overcome challenges, discover who they are, and shine in ways they never thought possible. I cheer for them at soccer games and beam with happiness when they receive academic awards. I feel a fatherly pride when they step onto a stage, uncertain but brave, and deliver lines they’ve rehearsed for weeks. I feel it in the quiet moments, too, when a student opens up about a struggle or makes a better choice than the day before.

But I’m not just a principal. I’m also a father to a daughter with aromatic l-amino acid decarboxylase (AADC) deficiency. And that part of me is always there, quietly whispering beneath the applause and the awards.

Recommended Reading

April 15, 2025 by Richard E. Poulin III

In Thailand, we cherish the cleansing waters of Songkran

Dreams reshaped

My wife, Judy, and I had big dreams for our daughter, Rylae-Ann. They were dreams shaped by tradition and the milestones we saw other families reach. When Rylae-Ann was born, those dreams took a sudden, sharp detour. In the early days, we were in survival mode, just trying to understand what was happening. Over time, we found our footing. We accepted the situation and adapted to it. Now, we’re creating memories that are just as meaningful, only different.

Still, when I’m at a school promotion ceremony or watching students perform at a concert, I sometimes feel a quiet ache. It’s not jealousy or resentment. It’s a mix of longing and guilt. It’s as if the pride I feel for my students is somehow a betrayal of the family I rush home to every evening.

But I know that’s not true.

Understanding the complexity of fatherhood

I pour my heart into my daughter, and she pours hers into me. I know the joy of seeing her smile after a hard-fought therapy session. I know the miracle of her standing for a moment longer than the day before. I know what it’s like to measure milestones in seconds and celebrate what others might overlook.

Rylae-Ann and her mother, Judy, share a special moment outdoors. (Photo by Richard E. Poulin III)

And strangely, or maybe beautifully, this path we’ve walked as a family has made me a better leader. I have more patience. More empathy. A deeper understanding of the quiet battles people carry. My experience as a father has helped me see my students not just as learners, but as whole people with unseen struggles and untapped potential.

At times, I still feel the weight of what’s missing or what could have been. But more often, I feel gratitude for the journey, for my daughter’s strength, for the way our story has shaped me. I’m proud of the father I am, both at home and at school.

To fellow parents in the AADC community, your journey is deeply personal, and your emotions are valid. You may also feel a mix of pride and pain when you see other children reach milestones your child may not. You are not alone in that.

Our stories are different, but they are just as real, just as meaningful, and just as powerful. And so are our children.

Note: AADC News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of AADC News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to aromatic l-amino acid decarboxylase deficiency.